Life has roadblocks and will always be full of obstacles, threatening the stability of married life. It is how you and your partner are able to handle these disruptions that determine the sustainability of your life together.
Sometimes problems can be easily overcome. Some times they need work. And other times they feel completely insurmountable. The good news is that there is a lot of marriage help available for couples having problems with their marriage relationships.
Marriage and family counseling is one option for an unhappy marriage. But sometimes it can just take one partner being prepared to change that can make the difference (and because you’re reading this I’m guessing that person is you!). It isn’t defeat to accept that YOU are the one that needs to change to make your relationship into what YOU want it to be. And often enough a change in one person will bring about a change in your partner even without your asking them to do anything differently simply because you’ve changed and the old games can’t be played the same way anymore.
The best marriage is built on a respect for each other and more than a passing nod to your wedding vows.
Remember your wedding vows? While it can seem like a distant memory, it is important to remind yourself that you made a commitment to stay married to your spouse. For better or for worse is still very much a strong argument for getting - and staying - married.
People in fact like the "for better or for worse" aspect of marriage because it tells them that no matter what happens, no matter what marriage problem may arise, their husband or wife will be around.
It goes beyond feeling like you have a security or safety net to prevent divorce. It’s the knowledge that they can count on someone when times are bad, and that alone generates a considerable degree of peace of mind and a sense of calm for the soul.
And here’s a romantic - but true - notion of marriage, to which happily married couples will agree: "Marriage moves us from ego to we-go".
The single self shifts from me first to the sacred union of us - values such as love, honesty, respect, fidelity and dependability form the heart of a good marriage. Little kindnesses keep the pump working. Without a pump, the heart would struggle and eventually stop working. With it, everything keeps running smoothly.
And how about the simplest reasons for marriage such as: silly little jokes, hugs and cuddling, traveling together, laughing together, quiet times together, mutual friends, sexual intimacy, pillow talk, kissing and making up? Can anyone really put a price tag on these simple pleasures? Don't they echo the saying that the best things in life are free?
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