Is Marriage Family Counseling For You?

Is marriage family counseling the only solution when your marriage starts to go into freefall toward divorce? The answer is that it depends. It depends on the nature of your problems and how open you both are to the prospect of counseling.

Some couples just aren't comfortable with the whole idea of going through their problems in front of a third person and for them it is unlikely that marriage family counseling will ever work. Although it is like anything and is something that you can get used to over time, for some it is so opposed to their nature that they will never feel relaxed enough to open up about what the real problem is. So for them it will never work.

Others may take some time to adjust but will find that although the experience is painful they are finding it useful in seeing things from their partner's perspective.

For some marriages, family counseling is a first port of call as soon as things look a little shaky.

If you aren't sure if marriage family counseling is for you then perhaps you would be better to try other routes first. So what are your choices:

. You can read up on what makes a good marriage and see if you can make some changes in your marriage. You may find that it only takes one of you to change to bring about a change in the other person. Often times we lock each into behaving in a certain way because we expect them to behave that way. Try looking at what is really happening in a situation rather than what you think is going on.

. You can confide in a friend or write in a journal about how you are feeling. Sometimes just getting out what has been nagging at you frees you out and you can move on. A journal can be a great way to explore your feelings and work through problems.

. You could try doing a marriage course or reading an ebook like ‘How to Save a Marriage’ .

. You could take up a new hobby together, something that you will both enjoy and have wanted to try.

. Create situations where you will be more physical with each other - take a shower together, or give your spouse a massage. Being intimate doesn't negate problems you are having in your relationship but it can be a great way to build a bridge towards understanding each other. It can also strengthen your resolve to work through your problems.

If your marriage feels terminal then marriage family counseling maybe your only option if you want to save your relationship. But if you do decide to give it a try, do it knowing that it can work and that you will do all you can to make it work. Anything else will just set you up to fail.

If you don't feel that your relationship is that troubled but you have some concerns and want it to be the best marriage imaginable then marriage family counseling may still be worth considering.