Marriage Counseling: Why Put Yourself Through It?

With over half of all marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, the institution of marriage is in trouble. Marriage is something special - and something that has been part of all human society since the beginning of time, bolstering claims that marriage is an institution generated by God.

However, despite the idea that marriage is a holy and sacred institution, it is still made up of two humans - humans subject to human frailties. And sometimes they need help to sort out their problems and that's where marriage counseling comes in for many couples.

No wonder almost two million married couples file for a divorce every year. When taken for granted, marriage can be a commodity that can be easily destroyed. When divorce began to be more prevalent in society, professionals come up with an idea to solve this growing problem.

The idea of marriage therapy was established as an accepted practice in the 1950s. The primary goal of marriage counseling is to maintain an unwavering married life for couples. These counselors believe that it is not right for a married couple to abandon their vows and forget the love that once had bound them together just because of some human weaknesses.

However, not all professionals agree that relationship counseling gives lasting benefits and promotes change in individuals. In spite of its many advantages, some people still find some fault with this kind of psychological strategy.

Counseling and Your Marriage-The Pros:
. Marriage counseling helps raise awareness and often it is the first time that a problem is formally acknowledged by both sides. Counseling can not only help with the "tube of toothpaste" problems, but also the unspoken, possibly unrealized, problems lying deep below the surface. When the underlying problems come to light, it is easier to deal with them and solve the smaller issues.

. Marriage therapy can assist spouses to understand each other better. If spouses are working toward the same goal in two totally different ways, it can cause friction. Therapy with a trained consellor can be a good place to work out these personality quirks in a safe environment.

Drawbacks of Marriage Counseling:

. Some couples tend to depend on marriage counseling. There are many instances where people do not exert any effort to resolve their problems on their own because they know that there is a marriage counselor that they can turn to.

. It is considered by some couple as a last-ditch measure before a divorce and therefore does not have much value. In fact, in almost 70% of couples in trouble, the wife is usually the one that has decided to end the marriage and they are planning to proceed with a divorce even before seeking the help of a counselor, or simply go "for the kids."

. Sometimes, one partner wants the marriage to work and the other doesn't. When one partner does not want to work on the problems, it can mean the death of the marriage. At that point, no amount of relationship therapy will work, and the partner who wants to make the marriage work gets frustrated and angry.

With or without counseling, couples need to learn how to solve their problems. Marriage counseling can be a tool to help save a marriage, but tools must be used and appreciated to work. Counseling should not be relied upon exclusively to save an unhappy marriage.