Can you cast your mind back to the time when you first met, that moment when you just knew that you were hooked? Of course, it was probably wound up in lust and it may not have been until you were able to breathe that you realized that was it, you were in love. You felt alive and excited and as if nothing could go wrong between you, not ever. Your heart beat faster when you heard their voice, your body thrilled at their touch, everything seemed better when you were together. You cursed having to work, or see your family, or do the grocery shopping, or take your dog to the vet - anything that meant you weren't together was a frustration to be endured.
You celebrated your love with a wedding and settled into your life together. Before you knew it, life seemed to get busier, there were things that needed to be done around the home, bills to pay, family commitments and you couldn't believe how tired you felt. You felt like the honeymoon was over and this was marriage!
But it doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't matter if you've been in a relationship for 10 months or 10 years, there is no set pattern that you need to follow just to prove your marriage is real or that you're a grown up now.
Remember how much effort you used to go to for your partner before your marriage? Why did you stop? Why not start up again and see what happens?
Here are some ideas to get your marriage out of hibernation:
. Leave a love note in your spouse's car or on the pillow. You could write something like this: 'Whenever I see you, my heart skips a beat. I don't know how it is possible but you are getting more attractive to me every day. You are more beautiful than on our wedding day or on the day we met. Thought you should know....'
. Have a picnic in your bedroom. Organize it so its ready to go when they arrive home from work - put a picnic rug on the bed, having some drinks organized and your favorite food (strawberries, bread, dips, chocolates). What can you do with the children? This is where takeout and a video came in handy. Tell them that you need some parent time out to talk through a few things.
. Try doing something together that you know your spouse enjoys. It could be going to a movie, a favorite restaurant, bike-riding, fishing, shopping. Whatever it is do it even though you'd rather not and keep an open mind. Let your spouse know you care through your actions as well as your words.
. Stroll hand in hand like you used to before your marriage.
. Try doing some extra chores, chores that your spouse normally does. If your spouse normally takes out the trash then why not do it yourself this week? Or if your spouse usually cooks why not surprise them and cook a meal?
. Remember to appreciate each other. Give compliments. Just make sure you are sincere and don't stop at one.
Of course, the above is just the beginning of revitalising your
unhappy marriage. Once you get into the habit of wooing your partner all over again, you're bound to think of other things you can do.
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