Sex drive? What sex drive? Has your sex life been a non event this month? This year? Its not like you aren't interested but well, it's just finding time amongst all the chaos that is your life. There are so many things claiming your attention: work, looking after your home, exercising, food shopping, making meals, laundry, children, family obligations, social events, ironing! Its no surprise that when you do lie down you're out within minutes. Or the time isn't right. Or you just can't be bothered. Maybe a month passes before you realize that you can't remember the last time you made love let alone the last time you kissed your partner and I mean really kissed them, not just a polite peck.
Or maybe you've just fallen into a rut. You are
having sex in the same place at roughly the same time week in week out and do the same things. Routine is good for things like brushing your teeth but it shouldn't come into your lovemaking when variety and excitement are crucial elements in making it fulfilling.
If this sounds like you and you want to kickstart your
sex life back into well, life, then read on.
1. Look after your body
Being in touch with and happy about your own body is a good place to start because not only will eating well and regular exercise will make you look great with an inner healthy glow, you will also have heaps of energy making you feel more vibrant and alive.
2. Touch Each Other
If you haven't been intimate with your partner for sometime then you might want to build up slowly to get back in synch with one another. Instead of attempting to leap from a standing start to racing speed, ease your way back into the other's physical space by touching when you can and by being considerate. Maintain body contact when you talk. Stop to kiss when you pass one another at home. Run your fingers through their hair. Give them a spontaneous neck massage.
3. Surprise Your Partner
The element of surprise can be very erotic. You could try taking a long bath together, ambush your partner with a long slow kiss when they are expecting to just touch lips, buy some racy lingerie and wear it!
4. Ask for what you want
Even if you've been with each other a long time don't assume that your loved one always knows exactly what you like. Even if they do it doesn't hurt to let them know once in awhile. Say what you like and tell them why you like it, if they have more information about what turns you on you never know what they may come up with to please you.
5. Enjoy Yourself
When was the last time you laughed with each other? Laughter is a great aphrodisiac. You could put on your favorite track and dance. Or buy the music that was popular when you first hooked up and play that for a trip down memory lane over dinner. Try a midnight swim (weather permitting, of course!).
6. Write a
sexy letter If you feel embarrassed speaking out loud what you want your partner to do then try writing it down. This way you can be as specific as you like without your face turning tomato red and it gives your partner time to process what you've said and get into the mood (if you need help writing up your letter try visiting
Sexy Love Letters for easy-to-us love templates).
7. Be Present
When you do get down to it, it is crucial that you focus on exactly what it is you are doing. To do this you must stop the chatter within your own head. Don't worry that you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning, or that you need to call your mother about her birthday celebration, or the fact that you're out of cereal. Leave all that stuff to later. Much later. Chances are it won't seem nearly so important once you're done.
8. Read your partner an erotic bedtime story
The mind is crucial in any attempt to resuscitate your sex life. It needs to be turned on first and the body will follow.
Increasing your sex drive isn't rocket science. But neither will it just happen because you wish it. You have to take an active approach to getting the most out of your sex life. Of all the strategies listed above, reading
erotic storiescan be one of the most powerful. The secret is finding the right stories but even that isn't so difficult anymore.
RSS Feed
